Change of Heart

Thoughts flow through my head,
as i wait to find the place where i belong,
waiting in line for a long time,
my patience slowly ebbing away;

Searching for a way to find that special place for me,
that place where i can fly, the place where i feel free,
that place thats my own, the place where im totally
free is right by your side, when its just you and me;

Challenges i met along the way,
embrace my life with trepidation.
but, a changed person, i am today;

Suddenly the world is different,
the world is new,
the world is a place
perfect for me and you;

And suddenly everything fits,
the world seems like a perfect place,
i’m no longer alone,
and my life doesn’t seem to be such a waste;

Ecstasy of Living

I remember the days
when my mind used to be
overrun with emotions and thoughts
of all things good and the worst;

As time went by,
with each new day,
and with a brand new life to look forward to,
my mind emptied itself in a flash, just like that;

With a cup of coffee in hand,
i sit back and think about the yesteryears,
smiling at the change that has taken over me
and the life that i have been blessed with now;

Strolling down the memory lane,
unafraid of the future,
blinded by the ecstasy of living
eventually, with eyes wide open,
i’ve come to understand, that
some things, including life, change for the better;

Life is at a standstill

It has been never been like this,
not quite sure of what i want
don’t know what more that i need to do,
feels like a soul devoid of life;

One moment my joy knew no bounds,
a new beginning is what i got,
a new meaning to a lonely existence,
i was happy;

As reality dawned on me,
i felt my happiness come crashing down,
all in one big thud, i wondered
if my luck was anything but bad;

I try to find a reason,
i try to find a cure,
i tried all that was possible,
but it feels as if my Life has come to a standstill;

I don’t want to give up,
i don’t want to cave in so easily,
so i am desperately plotting my revenge
against a life that has become mundane;
(and take control of it once and for all
before i lose my sanity and question my very existence)

A State of Mind

I have come a long way
to a distant place far far away
from where i used to live
and from what i used to do;

Life is a rosy dream,
happiness and joy aplenty,
everything that i wanted and
everything is as i had hoped for;

Everything is as i had hoped for,
everything is as i had longed for,
everything is except for the turmoil
that plagues me inside every day;

I sleep, i smile, i laugh, i play, i eat and i live
in a constant state of fear,
a fear that i did not ask for,
and one that i did not longed for;

killing me from inside,
silently screaming for it to stop,
i am devoured by my own inner self,
day in and day out;

haunting and taunting me,
time and time again,
they run helter and skelter
in the deep recess of my mind;

it’s just a state of mind,
i tell myself
hoping to erase these thoughts
of fear that hinges on the edge of my happiness;

Trapped inside my own mind,
eclipsed by my fear,
tears weep without a choice
hoping to vanquish (flood) this struggle within;